Fang Challenged? Don't Let Fang Envy Stop You
Grow Your Own Pair . . .
. . . of Fangs, I mean.
It’s come to my attention that the term “Fang up!” is causing consternation.
i'M TOO SHY TO SHOW MY FANGS! And I've never been to a neighborhood library...
LOTS OF FOLKS, it seems, are all excited about the Vampire Baby Free Books Giveaway. They are thrilled to share it, tweet it, like it on Facebook, but they can’t bring themselves to ENTER IT . . .
Seems, along with all the other issues plaguing us, we’re having major FANG Trouble.
The trouble with Fangs is:
Some don’t have fangs, as in there seems to be a flat out fang shortage.
Others have fangs, but . . . not Fangs long or sharp enough to mention.
Others are worried about what folks might say if they do flash their fangs and Vampire Up!
Phooey I say! There are FREE books waiting to be scooped up! 40 hardback, full-color picture books, retail price about $16.95 + + including, Dance, Y’all, Dance, One Day I Went Rambling, Your Daddy Was Just Like You!, Your Mommy Was Just Like You!, Dad & Pop. & Not Norman.
And, of course, Vampire Baby!
illustrated by Paul Meisel (Candlewick Press)
Don’t let Fang issues keep you from playing.
Or, as Will Shakespeare so would have said, had he written 13th Night as planned:
“Some are born fanged, some achieve fangs, and some have fangs thrust upon them.”
In the interest of fairness I’d like to level the contest-playing field by offering several solutions to this FANG Trouble. Facts first, Joe Friday:
SOME ARE BORN FANGED:
I have it on GOOD AUTHORITY: Baby teeth appear in any order (so don't be scared . . . ). Most times a baby’s bottom two front teeth appear first. Sometimes, it’s the top two incisors. Rarely, molars break through first. And occasionally, a baby sprouts FANGS!
Tootie used to be a cuddly ga-ga-goo-goo I want my bah-bah baby. Then one night . . .
Image borrowed from Internet (click photo for link)
That’s human babies! Other species are a whole different, er . . . animal.
Hedgehog Vampires are rare but creapy!
SOME ACHIEVE FANGS:
“If you can find a dentist who'll do it, you can have your front teeth shortened and your canines filed.”
"File incisors to a point and file down your other front teeth so the fangs will be more prominent."
“Yank Your Incisors: Definitely NOT recommended but…”
Vampire Bat's native to South American Rainforest
You'll find all types and prices of Fangs to buy.
Vampire Fangs come in many styles and price ranges, from long lasting to edible. And for all things Vampire, click over to WWW.VAMPIRE.COM
Buying Fangs is one thing, Putting them on might be a tad bit harder. Here's a How-to Video
DYI: Make Your Own Fangs:
- Got Apples? DYI Apple Vampire Fangs—and so much more!—directions are in the Vampire Baby Teaching Guide created by Deb Gonzales (Click on page 21). What better way to get your “apple a day”?
- Got Fake Plastic Fingernails? Braces Wax? A White Straw? Then you can make Vampire Fangs: How to Make Quick Easy Vampire Fangs:
- Got A Plastic Fork? Cotton Balls? White Drinking Bottle? Then you can make Vampire Fangs: How to Make Vampire Fangs.
and more often than one might suppose . . . or not . . .
SOME HAVE FANGS THRUST UPON THEM:
What is it? You too shy, too cool, too whatever to Fang up. I totally get it. That needn't stop you from entering the Vampire Baby Free Books Giveaway.
Laugh now....If you Dare. But just wait until I win all those groovy picture books. We'll see who's laughing then . . .
Nobody ever said it had to be you.
Grab all the babies, pets, and the old ladies, and make--let--help them Fang Up!
What are you waiting for? Click on this picture and use the Vampire Baby DYi Fangs--There are a variety of styles to choose
Time's Running Out!
Only 10 more days to enter the Vampire Baby Book Give-Away. Winners will be announced at Midnight November 1st, Just after the last stoke of Halloween.
Enter Now!
Enter Later!
There's not limit to how many times you can enter. Need not be present to win.
Don't let Lack-o-Fangs Stop You: Vampire Up!
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